Doñe Sophia, Queen of Spain

Word has it that Sophia, Queen of Spain and sister to the exiled King of Greece, has been advised not to go to London to join the British royal family in celebrating Elizabeth II’s sixty years on the throne of Great Britain. The reasons given are political. The essential word has nine letters – Gibraltar.

Here we see a badly mixed cocktail; three parts of royal connection (and very old friendship), plus one part of squabble do not gel into an acceptable and creamy mix. Queen Sophia is Greek, descended from the Danish royal family as well as Queen Victoria. The King of Spain’s grandmother was English. When a group of radically-inclined colonels threw their crowned King Constantine out of his own palace and confiscated his possessions (not very many, but Mother Frederika had left something) the young man and his family went immediately to London, where they have been domiciled to all intents and purposes every since. Doña Sophia is and always has been very close to her exiled brother.

Now the Madrid Government tells Sophia not to join Elizabeth, a cousin, in her anniversary of sixty years on the throne.

History

Gibraltar, a strategically important town and rocky headland which dominates the linking passage between the Mediterranean and the Atlantic oceans is in the extreme south of Spain. In 711 it was captured and fortified properly by the Moors, ancient enemy of the Iberian Peninsula. They named it Jabal-al-Tariq. In the fifteenth century, after years of wars between Moor and Spaniard, Gibraltar became Spanish again (1642). During the irritating and disaster-strewn War of the Spanish Succession (1704) the fortress of Gibraltar surrendered to the commander of a large Anglo-Dutch fleet, and was later awarded to the British at the Treaty of Utrecht (1713). This enormously important treaty was of course signed by Spain, as well as other countries involved in the war of succession.

Despite the signing, frequent attempts were made by Spain following Utrecht to re-capture ‘The Rock’, often with the help of the French, always ready and willing when political or military attacks are made on Britain. In 1779 Gibraltar withstood a very long siege by superior Franco/Spanish ships and land forces. Treaty or no treaty the Spanish were determined to recover that Rock.

But it stayed British, and vital as a naval base during both World Wars. It still is a Dependency, with its own elected government, and this insistence on remaining British is supported by the majority of its population, many of whom are Italian, or indeed Spanish, as well as Maltese and Portuguese.

   General Franco patriotically closed the land borders in 1969, which was a thorough nuisance, but again diplomacy intervened and an agreement was signed in Brussels in 1984. The borders were opened in 1985. British military forces were withdrawn in 1991, though the Royal Navy looms in Gibraltar  to this day, and repairs to British warships made at the Rock infuriate the Spanish press every now and again, especially if the reparations are made to nuclear-powered (and armed) submarines.

Togetherness: the monarchs of Britain and Spain

The biggest problem for both foreign offices, Spain’s and Britain’s, is that the people of Gibraltar would like very much to be totally independent, but this seems unlikely. They repeatedly hold referendums in which they are asked if they would prefer to be a part of Spain, and they cussedly refuse. It seems the only way  Britain and Spain could come to an agreement would be to ingest the entire population of Gibraltar (with very few exceptions) into Britain’s home population. Then El Peñon could become Andalusian and be ruled by Mr Griñan, who would undoubtedly profit by the riches Gibraltar has to offer.

To return to Queen Sophia for a moment. I believe that through her brother she holds British nationality as well as Spanish. If this is so, one can see no reason why she cannot join Elizabeth and Philip at the 60^th. It is remarked on both sides of the English Channel that Sophia spends most of her life now in London anyway. I suspect this is all a storm in a teacup, and it is useless to cry over spilled Tapas.

Almost unequalled beauty

This place of almost unequalled beauty used to be the smallest of the constituent republics of the former Yugoslavia. It borders on Serbia in the north/east, Abania to the south, and Bosnia-Herzegovina to the north/west. There is a long coastline, one of its chief contributions to aesthetic pleasure, lying on the Adriatic.

   The south/western part of Montenegro is a soft stone plateau, and the eastern part encourages agriculture and forestry. Here sheep/goat-raising forms an essential part of the agricultural scene.

The Royal Clipper at anchor off Kotor

   Montenegro was the only Slavic nation not to be part of the Ottoman Empire. Instead, it engaged in the Balkan Wars at the turn of the twentieth century under Petrovic Njegos and managed to extend territory. But Nicholas Petrovic Njegos was deposed after the First War in 1918, and Montenegro became nothing more than a province of the Kingdom of the Serbs, Croats and Slovenes, renamed Yugoslavia in 1929. It was a very big country indeed, the scene of bitter and finally useless fighting in World War II between frustrated Allies and the Germans, and then found itself most unwillingly ruled by the communist Marshal Tito in 1946.

Carving up the Balkans before breakfast: absolute power!

 These simple words in black and white cannot begin to describe the horrors of these second Balkan Wars, or the dreadful, unthinking manoevres exercised by the Allies in the 1940s – badly managed, with no knowledge of history, no foresight, and a fear of the Soviet Union that led to most of Eastern and Central Europe existing under the yoke.

   However, a strong spirit of independence remained in Montenegro despite the victory of the Communist Party in the first multi-party elections of December, 1990. Then came the Yugoslavian disintegration (there can be no other word) and Montenegro associated itself with Serbia, its neighbour, a decision confirmed by a referendum in 1992.

   In that same year Serbia and Montenegro unilaterally declared themselves a separate nation, with the grand title of The Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. This was not approved by many countries, for reasons of their own. Meanwhile the Serbian part of the Federation was engaged in a civil war of great bloodiness with Bosnia-Herzegovina (1992 – 95).

The Hotel Splendide, filmed in 'Casino Royale'

 Friction between Montenegro and most other Balkan nations led to its total independence  declared in 2006. The capital Podgorica and its grand Hotel Splendid was used in many scenes for the film Casino Royale.

George Byng, Ist Viscount Torrington, the lucky father

George Byng, Viscount Torrington was born in 1663. After school education he headed straight for the Royal Navy to make his name as a sailor. Having a nose for politics, he made himself agreeable to William of Orange (q.v.) and quickly became an Admiral.

   George Byng’s most prominent successes as a sailor took place during the Wars of the Spanish Succession (q.v.), especially in 1718 at Cape Passaro, where the fleet he commanded managed the extraordinary feat of sinking an entire enemy squadron which had had the intention of making a landfall in Sicily prior to an invasion.

    After retirement he lived quietly until his death in 1733 at the age of seventy. He was lucky to avoid the humiliating fate of his son John.

'pour encourager les autres' John Byng's execution; the unlucky son

John Byng was born in 1704 when his father the admiral was forty-one. Thouigh he did not do particularly well as a midshipman, and stayed perhaps too long in that junior rank, he did eventually manage to rise in the Royal Navy, no doubt helped by his distinguished parent.

   Sadly, he was sent with a woefully inadequate fleet to save Minorca in 1756 when he was a somewhat long-in-the-tooth Rear-Admiral. It was the French fleet which was at that moment putting Minorca under siege; and another French fleet was attacking Gibraltar at the same time.

   Poor inexperienced John Byng failed to emulate his infinitely more distinguished father. He did not drive the French away from Minorca, which was then a British possession. In fact he lost the island. Then he went on to Gibraltar where he failed again to remove the French nuisance from The Rock.

   John Byng subsequently sailed back to London where he reported his failure, a report added to by most of his junior officers, none of whom held high opinions of George Byng’s son. He found himself in a Court Martial, much to the shame of his family. He was accused successfully of negligence, and sentenced (it was Time of War) to death. In this way the government of the day found a useful scapegoat for their own intolerable negligence in sending an inexperienced seaman with a ridiculously small fleet to attack not one but two fleets that were not only French, but much larger. John Byng was shot on board his own flagship. The French wit Voltaire was prompted to remark that in England ‘they like to shoot an admiral from time to time to encourage the others’. The italicised phrase (in the original French) has found its way into one of the most quotable quotes in the English language.

Indignant crowds at the Puerto del Sol, Madrid

We see on the daily news programmes that ‘Los Indignados’ have returned to the Puerta del Sol and the Plaza de Cataluña in Spain, and various other municipal hot points in Europe, to celebrate an anniversary. It was in May last year that European city-dwellers learned to put up with their plazas and places filled to saturation with the young and the old, of every sex, of every class, of every profession, setting up camp, breaking out the same tired old political cant on badly spelled, cheaply printed placards. These are the ‘Indignants’.

   Their message is incoherent, as are their few conversations with the media trying (and failing) to explain what they are doing there. But though the indignants may not be entirely sure what they are doing, the people behind these seemingly populist sitters-on-pavements know very well what they are doing. It is impossible to believe that such an amassing of peaceful crowds is anything but organised, rehearsed, administrated and conducted by experts. Extremely Right, or Extremely Left, the faceless ones behind the milling crowds are, I suppose, what used to be called ‘Anarchists’, that is those who, disillusioned with the continued exercise of authority by those to whom they have democratically given the vote, present themselves as opposers to any kind of governing will.

   Anarchy comes from the Greek of course. It is the philosophy that states all government is unnecessary and harmful and hateful and should therefore be abolished. There is nothing in the word that indicates what can replace government. It is left to History to tell us. All anarchical movements have led, are leading, and will lead to dictatorship, merely because if elected government fails, unelected (and certainly unwanted) military government follows.

   It was the nineteenth century that first saw what anarchists could do. In 1848 a French socialist called Proudhon said that we needed morally to mature if we wanted to dispense with artificial restraints imposed by governments. This argument was closely followed by a more radical view, expressed naturally by a Russian, Bakunin. He praised violence as the ideal medicine, curing all ills such as taxes and police work; but the main ideal of anarchism by the end of the nineteenth century was a pacifist but absolute rejection of violence.

   In a gesture of absolute rejection of violence, the communists murdered an entire family, their tutor and pets, and by 1920, only two decades after the absolute rejection, the Soviet Union came to dominate most Eastern European lives for seventy years. Not forgetting pacifist origins, the newly installed masters in Russia, later in Yugoslavia, Cuba and China peacfully eliminated all opposition. Mass graves were filled by those daring to express a view.

    In America, meanwhile, Emma Goldman linked support for social communes with feminism added to pacifism. Englishwomen, practical as ever, decided that they should have the vote (as indeed they should) and emphasised their argument by toppling silly men off their soap-boxes and tripping up the King’s horse in a race.

The pacifism of anarchy: bombs explode round Alfonso XIII of Spain on his wedding day

  Unfortunately for the genuine anarchists, people began to associate anarchism with violence and assassination; In Spain and Italy anarchist bombs exploded, killing and maiming people and horses. Real anarchists were shocked to find themselves named ‘The Red Hand’ or ‘The Black Hand’ etc. The failure of the Left to conquer Franco in the ghastly Spanish Civil War was blamed on their internal conflicts – between anarchism, syndicalism and orthodox socialism. Anarchism began to lose some of its appeal, until 1968 in Germany and especially France, where pacifist intentions soon exploded into fire, smoke and bloodshed.

   Now in Spain, people are confused again. On the one hand trade union leaders complain that their bien estar or ‘well-being’ has been restricted by the Conservative government under Rajoy. They must be blind or deaf. Their well-being was thoroughly expunged during the last eight years, though they chose not to notice. Amidst crashing sounds of collapsing banks and cajas, their President Zapatero reminded them that Spain had the best economic policy in Europe.

"I am happy to say that you have never had it so good"

   It is up to the people to make up their minds. It is one thing to vote against Labour so as to improve one’s well-being. Labour could not give a stuff about your well-being. But if you use your vote to remove Labour from government, it is the act of a fool not to support the people you did vote for, Conservative, Liberal Democrat, Christian Democrat or the Cat-Lovers’ Party.

You might just as well vote (as the French have just done) for the dear old Marxist/Leninists/Stalinists, represented by addled-brained twerps such as François Hollande. He will do just as well as Cripps or Wilson did in Britain, rationing food, pleasure, leisure and education; as did Felipe González in Spain, encouraging personal pillage among politicians; or Zapatero also in Spain, encouraging massive over-spending by the State viz. the Taxpayer to the extent that Spain cannot pay her bills. No wonder people are indignant.

One of the Chittys and the Count

The suave inventor of James Bond had already suffered a heart attack at the age of 52 when he began writing about a magic motor car with rather a long name. His son Caspar was 8, and dearly loved tales about myth, pretence and mechanical objects. Fleming went to a seaside hotel to recover and write for his son. He remembered a certain Count Sborowski who used to race an auto with an impossibly long bonnet called ‘Chitty’ at Brooklands.

Dubious driving at Brooklands

 Louis Sborowski raced around Europe with his enormous car from 1920 to 24. We do not know if he was really a count, but his enormous fortune was real enough. He inherited the loot from his parents, Elliott and Margaret, plus a huge 18^th century house and park just outside Canterbury. He had just turned sixteen when this happened.

   The probably bogus young Count spent a lot of money at Higham Park, building three Chittys, and putting a lot of money into the budding Aston Martin company. The Chittys were built by hand by Bligh Brothers of Canterbury.

Ian Fleming

   Chitty One was grey, weighed five tons, had a chain-drive and a Mercedes 300 horsepower Maybach aeroplane engine; the engine could rarely be started without a team of eleven men to help.  Once started however, it could go at 130 mph with virtually no brakes. It could not fly or go swimming.

Hollywood's Chitty in a museum

   Count Louis was killed driving for Mercedes in 1924. There is a statue erected to his memory at Le Mans in Normandy. Now we come to the Fleming connection. As a boy Ian used to accompany his banker grandfather to long weekends at Higham Park, where he of course saw the Chittys and learned about their legendary owner/driver.

Ian Fleming being Bond, James Bond

  Ian Fleming never recovered completely from his heart attack. He lived to finish the children’s book, which became a best-seller apart from a vastly popular film written by Roald Dahl. He saw the first two Bond films Dr No and From Russia with love. James Bond’s creator died on 12 August, 1964. His son Caspar was twelve.

Sir Robert Walpole, the first Prime Minister

Many students are accustomed to using the terms Prime Minister and The Cabinet and even The Cabinet Rooms in their studies and essays, but do not know much more about what these words represent. The term prime minister was first used when it was invented for the first of them, Sir Robert Walpole. He became PM in 1762.

   The phrase did not start as much more than a term of abuse. Cartoonists in the eighteenth century loved it, and got a lot of cynical humour out of it. The position was officially called First Lord of the Treasury, and the British had to wait until 1905 for the term ‘prime minister’ to be used on a Royal Warrant. Funnily enough, it was first employed in the Chequers Estate Act, by which a rich man donated his mansion and its park to the nation, with the nice idea that prime ministers could relax in the country during weekends, not at all a bad idea when you realise that Number 10, Downing Street is little more than a small town house with just enough room to swing a cat. It is quite likely that Chequers has seen more important politicking than Downing Street, as many PMs have preferred to do their world-shaking manoevering in the comfortable and more private atmosphere of an English country house.

Chequers in the English countryside

   Prime Ministers are the ultimate bosses of what is called The Cabinet., which is the supreme executive committee of Parliament. All committees anywhere tend to design a horse that ends up looking like a camel. The Cabinet is a committee, but it is nowhere near as cumbersome and awkward as what it replaced, which was the Privy Council. In fact the privy council still exists, as do ‘privy councillors’. They advise the monarch, and generally make a nuisance of themselves, annoying George V so much he almost had to be dragged to meetings. The name ‘privy’ means what it says: it was James I (of England and VI of Scotland who started things by inviting councillors to meet with him while he sat at stool. This cannot have been popular with the privy councillors, and meetings are said to have been kept as brief as possible.

   Monarchs like Elizabeth I and Victoria used the Privy Council as a sounding box for their own unquestionable views. Richard III the last Plantagenet used his violently, according to historians like the late A.E. Rouse of Oxford. At one meeting the King sent a Bishop out to fetch strawberries while he had another member arrested and immediately beheaded. Members of Henry VIII’s Privy council would tremble with fright throughout; one member admitted in retirement that he would wet his sixteenth century knickers when the monster king lost his temper.

    Nevertheless, the Cabinet replaced the privy council but stayed unorganised and unwieldy until it was modernized by Sir Robert Peel, PM as plain Robert in 1834 and as Sir Robert in 1841. Discussions in cabinet were not even noted by a quick-writing clerk until 1916, when someone thought it about time a Secretariat was installed. Before this date everything said in cabinet was not only secret but unrecorded.

   As with so many things, it was the World War (1914 – 18) that caused the change. The Imperial War Cabinet, just as grand as it sounds, was constituted as an inner executive group dealing at first hand with the international emergency represented by a world war. The IWC contained statesmen from the Commonwealth as well as ministers, and its members were excused from departmental duties.

Winston Churchill in the bunker known as The Cabinet War Rooms

 The Cabinet Rooms used by Winston Churchill as his War Rooms (1939 – 45 War) were sunk deep into the cellars of government buildings, guarded by heavily armed soldiers, and bomb-proof.

   In the United States the Cabinet was first summoned by George Washington at the end of 1791, but regular meetings of the cabinet as such were not started until the presidency of John  Adams (1797 – 1801). Do not confuse that Adams with John Q. Adams (president 1825 – 29).

   Modern Cabinets in the UK can employ as many as twenty ministers or secretaries of state, whereas the American President’s Cabinet is said to have never exceeded twelve members. They are not members of Congress. They are chosen by the President with the consent of the Senate.

The 76th Prime Minister

   In Britain the second most powerful person in the Cabinet and Parliament is called ‘Chancellor of the Exchequer’ (in almost all other countries he or she is the ‘Finance Minister’ or however that is translated in other languages). In Spain, for instance, the ministry of finance is split into two separate departments, one called Hacienda and the other Economía. They should, in theory, work together.

Barcelona's original way with the Olympic flame

Very shortly you will watch the opening ceremony of the London Olympic Games. Each country competing in the Games sends its athletes into the grand arena wearing blazers and waving national flags. As is customary, the hugest nations have the hugest number of athletes, while the smallest can only offer a few. It is all up to the economy, size of territory and population and whether or not young people have been fed enough good food to become athletic and not suffer from rickets and malnutrition. The countries are listed alphabetically; the first number shows the size of territory in square kilometres, the second figure shows it in square miles. Bet you haven’t heard of some of these countries; many change their name periodically (and nonsensically), or you don’t know where they are. So I am telling you. Best wishes, especially if YOU are one of the athletes who might . . .

A

Abysssinia (see Ethiopia)                                             Afghanistan 652,225      251,825

Algeria                                 2,381,741   919,515           Angola      1,246,700     481.354

Antigue and Barbuda              (Leeward Islands group in

the Caribbean)                         441.6     170.5               Argentina  2,780,092  1,073,399

Armenia (West Asia)              29,766   11,490            Australia       7,682,300  2,966,200

Austria                                   83,857   33,377             Azerbaijan      88,606       33,430

Bangladesh                          142, 998   55,998             Barbados           430            166

Belarus                                207,600    80,134               Belgium       30,158   11,783      

Belize (Central America 22,965  8,867                  Benin       112,600       43,450

Bermuda

(Self-governing Colony)                54         21      Butan  (South Asia)        47,000       18,150

Bolivia                               1,098,581  424,164   Bosnia-Herzegovina  51,129       19,741

Botswana                            581,730  224,607                Brazil       8,511,965  3,286,488

Brunei (North West

Borneo)                                 5,765      2,226     Buganda  (see Uganda)

Bulgaria                             110,994    42,855   Burkina Faso  (West Africa)     274,200    105.869

Burma (see Myanmar)                                  Burundi (East Central Africa)        27,834      10,747

C

Cambodia                         181,035    69,898               Cameroon     475,458     179,714

Canada   (2nd largest)   9,970,610  3,849,675                                 Cape Verde     4,033   1,557

Central African Republic  622,436  240,324                      Chad   1,284,000     495,795

Chile                       756,626  292,135                         China (3^rd largest)       9,572,900   3,696,199

Colombia    1,141,748    440,831    Comoros (Indian Ocean; Fed. Islam. Rep.) 1,862           719

Congo          342,000     132,047      Congo, Democratic Republic of the;

formerly Zaire)     2,234,000     905,446

Costa Rica        51,000  19,730       Còte d’Ivoir (formerly IvoryCoast)    322,463   124,471

Croatia              56,537  21,829         Cuba (largest  island, Caribbean)     110,861        42,804

Cyprus (containing the Turkish Republic

Of Northern Cyprus)          9,271  3,572         Czech Republic           78,864      30,442

D

Denmark          43,092   16,638       Djibouti (North-East Africa)                       23,200       8,950

Dominica (Windward Group of

The Caribbean)     750       290              Dominican Republic                 48,443     18,704

E

Ecuador                         269,178  103,930                    Egypt          997,739   385,229

El Salvador                       21,041     8,124      Equatorial Guinea        28,051     10,831

Eritrea (North-East

Africa)                           117,400   45,300                   Estonia          45,111     17,413

Ethiopia           1,223,500  472,400     Fiji (South-West (Pacific)                   18,274       7,056

Finland                           338,145  150,559                    France       543,965   210,026

G

Gabon (Atlantic coast

Of Africa)                      267,667  103,347        Gambia (The)          10,689       4,127

Georgia (West Asia)  69,700    26,900   Germany (Federal Republic of)     356,954   137,820

Ghana                            238,533    92,098                    Greece       131,957     50,949

(Greenland, the world’s largest island, is simply a part of Denmark)

Grenada                               345         133           Guatemala          108,889     42,042

Guinea (Atlantic coast

Of West Africa)             245,857   99,926          Guinea-Bissau         36,125     13,948

Guyana (North-east

Coast of South America) 215,083  88,044            H       Haiti            27,400     10,579

Honduras                        112,088  43,277                   Hungary         93,033     35,920

I

Iceland (North-East

Atlantic)                          103,000  39,769                        India   3,166,414   1,222,559

Indonesia                     1,919,443  741,101                     Iran       1,648,196     636,342

Iraq           435,052  167,975          Ireland (Republic of)         70,285       27,137

Israel                               20,700    7,992                       Italy        301,277      116,324

J

Jamaica                            10,991   4,244                     Japan         377,835     145,342

Jordan                      88,947   34,342      K           Kazhakistan    2,713,300   1,048,887

Kenya       582,646  224,961     Kiribati (Pacific archipelago, pronounced

Kiribas)     811           313

Korea, North                 122,400  47,300            Korea, South         99,237        38,316

Kuwait     17,818   6,880     Kyrgyzstan   (formerly Kirghizia)    198,599        76,460

 L

Laos                             236,800  91,400                       Latvia         63,718        24,595

Lebanon                         10,230    3,950                     Lesotho         30,355       11,720

Liberia                          111,400  43,000                        Libya     1,757,000      678,400

Liechtenstein                       160        61.6                Lithuania         65,207        25,170

Luxembourg, Gran Duchy 2,586   999

M

Macedonia                     25,713  9,928                  Madagascar      587,041      226,658

Malawi (South-East

Africa)                        118,484  45,747                     Malaysia       330,442      127,584

Maldives (Indian

Ocean)                               298      115                           Mali   1,240,192       478,841

Malta            316      122       Marshall Islands  (Central Pacific)          181.48     70.07

Mauritius (Southern

Indian Ocean)                 2,040       788                     Mexico      1,958,207      756,066

Micronesia (Fed. State of)                    701       270                     Moldova        33,700        13,000

Monaco                                1.09  0.75                    Mongolia   1,566,500       604,800

Morocco                     458,730  177,117               Mozambique     802,000       309,572

Myanmar (formerly Burma)                       676,877  261,228

N

Namibia (formerly

South West Africa)     824,292  317,818                       Nepal        147,181        56,827

Netherlands, The, (also called Holland but this refers to twoWestern provinces)       41,863   16,163                                                                              New Zealand   267,844      103,415     

Nicaragua                   130,700   50,464                         Niger     1,267,000      489,062

Nigeria                      923,768   356,669                       Norway      323,878      125,050

O

Oman                        300,000   120,000

P

Pakistan                    796,095    307,374             Palau (a.k.a. Belau)   488            188

Panama                      77,082      29,762          Papua New Guinea  462,840     178,704

Paraguay                   406,702   157,048                        Perú       1,285,216      496,225

Philippines                  300,000   115,800                        Poland      312,683      120,727

Portugal                       92,389     33,672                 Puerto Rico         9,104          3,515

R

Romania                    237,500     91,699      Russia  (largest country)  17,075,000    6,590,950

Rwanda (East-central Africa)              26,338    10,169

S

Saint Kitts and Nevis (Leeward Islands of the Caribbean)                 264.4  104.0       

 Saint Vincent and the  Grenadines                  389.3        150.3

Samoa                          2,831   I,093           Sao Tomé and Principe  1000      386

Saudi Arabia         2,240,000  865,000         Scotland part of the UK since 1707)

Senegal                   196,722   75,955                       Seychelles         453             175

Sierra Leone             71,740   27,699                        Singapore         622              240

Slovakia                    49,035   18,928                        Slovenia       20,251           7,897

Solomon Islands

(Pacific Ocean)        28,370  10,954                          Somalia      637,000        246,000

South Africa         1,123,226  433,680                        Spain          504,750       194,885

Sri Lanka

(formerly Ceylon)      65,610  25,332                   Sudan, the       2,503,890       966,757

Surinam                   163,820  63,251                   Swaziland           17,364           6,704

Switzerland                41,293  15,943                        Syria            185,180        71,498

T

Tajikistan                 143,000   55,240                  Tanzania             945,037      364,881

Thailand

(formerly Siam)        513,115  198,115           Togo (West Africa)     56,785        21,925

Tonga (in the

Friendly Islands)            749,9  289.5          Trinidad and Tobago         5,128         1,980

Tunisia                    154,530  59,664                       Turkey             779,452     300,948

Turkmenistan          488,100  186,400            Tuvalu (South Pacific)                  23.96       9.25

U

Uganda                   241,040   93,070                       Ukraine           603,700     171,700

United Arab

Emirates                    77,700   30,000             United Kingdom        244,110       94,251

USA  (4^th largest) 9,529,063  3,679,192                  Uruguay            176,215      63,097

Uzbekistan                447,400    172,741

V

Vanuatu

(formery New Hebrides) 12,190  4,707                   Venezuela            912,050     352,144

Vietnam                    351,688  128,065          Y           Yemen             492,099    182,366

(Yugoslavia is not recognised by the UN in its present form)

Z

Zambia   752,614   290,586     Zimbabwe (formerly Southern Rhodesia)   390,759   150,893

Hollande - 'Mon Dieu, I won!'

Today Monday I see that Monsieur Hollande has won the French presidential elections by 51-49%. How very French. M. Hollande claims to be a Socialist, though he is an intelligent man, and knows that socialism as such was most necessary in the nineteenth century, but redundant after the two world wars. By then the world had invented a solid middle class, obviating the need for socialism. Politicians calling themselves ‘socialist’ after 1945 were after ‘political appeal’ and ‘social resonance’ and useful ‘soundbite’, though they were middle (or upper) class themselves and had never met a single member of the so-called ‘lower-classes’ in their lives, with the violent exception of the trenches There have been prime examples in France before (Mitterand for one) and in Britain we have had our Clement Attlee (educated Winchester) Tony Blair, and our Harold Wilson creatures, none in the least interested in the welfare or well-being of the ‘lower classes’, the second a privileged prefect educated at Scotland’s ‘Eton’ (Fettes) and the third an Oxbridge don.

   M. Hollande is best known for having a beautiful mistress (nothing wrong with that, he is French after all). A decent ineffectual man, he has never achieved anything but public humiliation. The beautiful mistress with whom he had four illegitimate children was Ségolène Royal, the French Socialist party’s presidential candidate, who informed the world that her partner was ineffectual and indecisive. Another loving colleague has said that Hollande unfortunately lacks backbone.

   This is Hollande, whom the French people following Europe’s beloved tradition, have just elected as their President.

Sarkozy: 'Mon Dieu, I lost!'

 By doing so they have removed M. Sarkozy, a loud-mouthed fellow who thought that ordering the instant shooting of a maniac might win him the election. M. Sarkozy is not a Conservative, just as M.Hollande is not a Socialist. But the French people think that M. Hollande is a socialist, and just as night follows day they have voted socialist. It is the same in Spain: when señor Rajoy has put things more or less right, after four years of draconic,  rigid but necessary reforms, when Spanish people are able once again to get a job, spend four hours over Sunday lunch in an expensive restaurant, educate their children privately, buy a third home etc. . . they too will vote Socialist again, because it is the right thing to do. Spanish people are socialist right into their bones, because of centuries of dreadful treatment of them by privileged persons who should have known better. Ask any Spaniard or Frenchman or woman to define Socialism. They will reply that they vote socialist because their parents and grandparents said that they should.

   The Spanish people, and the French people much more recently, have voted for a political group that has never, in any civilized or uncivilized country, succeeded. That is a recorded historical fact. But it is not Socialism’s fault. The basic tenets and philosophies of real Socialism are excellent and unsurpassed. But no ‘Socialist’ government has ever been socialist. All such governments are and were managed by clever clogs who choose the right icon, in this case The Closed Fist. ‘Socialist’ ministers could not give a tinker’s cuss for the working classes.

   Monsieur Hollande has won by 51 to 49 percent. But has France won? Very soon we will see.

Canada in orthographic projection

This is the second largest country in the world, and yet there is little mention of her in the media. Unless one of Canada’s great cities holds an Olympic Games, as did Montreal, you never hear about Canada. The same situation abounds with the two great islands of New Zealand. The reason for this lack of newsworthyness is probably that Canada (and New Zealand) are very well governed, exceedingly rich, and both are willing members of the Commonwealth of Nations.

   Canada is even bigger than the United States, but Russia tops the lot with 17 million square kilometres. It is interesting to discover that China, which many of our followers probably thought was the world’s biggest country, in fact virtually ties with the United States. The latter covers only 35,000 square kilometres more than China, and there’s a surprise.

Ottowa, centre of government

  Our subject covers the whole of the northern part of North America excepting Alaska (USA), and is bounded by three of the planet’s great oceans – the Pacific to the west, the Arctic on the north and the Atlantic to the east.

   This is a federation of ten North American provinces – Alberta, British Columbia, Manitoba, New Brunswick, Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Ontario, Prince Edward Island, Quebec, Saskatchewan, plus the Ukon Territory amd the Northwest Territories.

Vancouver on the west coast

 There is no real border with the United States (as there certainly is with Mexico). Canada’s southern boundary croses the Rocky Mountains and runs on eastwards towards the Great Lakes and the Saint Laurence River, then crosses the Appalachian Mountains to enter the sea with the Saint Croix River. The Laurence is Canada’s most important river, but the north/west’s Mackenzie is the longest, while most Canadians consider the Fraser in the south/west to be the most beautiful, though this is of course a matter of opinion.

   Northern Canada means wide rivers and lakes, low-growing tundra-type vegetation and great, dark coniferous forests. Here there is snow for six to nine months a year and there is a permafrost (which means what it says: ‘permanent frost’) making industry, building and mining difficult and agriculture impossible.

   The west coast has a mild climate and salmon in the rivers, its own splendid fiords or rias, and is ceilinged by permanently snow-capped peaks. Towards the east, the land becomes more agricultural, and there is cattle-ranching, oil production and immense prairies for the growing and gathering of grain.

The city of Calgary

Winters are very cold indeed though, and the summers are brief and hot. Very rich farm lands lie between the lakes Huron, Erie and Ontario. Lands become hillier in Quebec and the eastern provinces.

   Fishing is naturally of great importance in the waters of the North Atlantic, plentiful – but the work hard because of near-freezing air/water temperatures.

Essential History:  Canada was inhabited by northern Native Americans and Innuit tribes in the Far North, who were not much affected by the arrival of Viking ships in the 10^th century. The Norsemen founded a community at L’Anse aux Meadows. There appears to have been little fighting between the Native Americans and the men from Norway and Denmark, perhaps because both had a healthy respect for the fighting powers of the others, and preferred (how rare for the Vikings q.v.) a quiet life.

   European influence (and diseases) came with the landing of explorer John Cabot in Labrador, Newfoundland, or Cape Breton Island, as it was also called, in 1497. In 1534 Jacques Cartier declared the land French, and a settlement was established in what is now Nova Scotia, but was then called by its furtraders Acadia, in 1604.

The city of Quebec

 In 1608 Samuel de Champlain founded the French town of Quebec on the Saint Laurence River and got a lake named after him in northern New York State, USA). Governor Frontenac successfully defended the place against an English force led by Sir William Phipps in 1691. Then he set off on a campaign to eliminate the Iroquois, fortunately not completed.

   Quite soon, and much to the chagrin and angst of the French, the name Canada was used as much as the term New France, whuch was a mélange of English and French anyway. The two old European ladies continued fighting each other in North America in the French and Indian Wars but the Peace of Utrecht (1713) meant that the French had to give up most of Acadia, Newfoundland and Hudson Bay. This left the rest of New France had to be conquered by the British, and it was in fact ceded in 1763.

   During or just after the American War of Independence (q.v.) a very large number of British Empire Loyalists arrived in Nova Scotia (formerly Acadia), and part of what is now Ontario. St. John’s Island was re-named Prince Edward Island in 1799, while Cape Breton Island became part of Nova Scotia in 1820. In 1791 the large area known as Quebec was divided into Upper and Lower Canada, but after the Act of Union of 1840 the two were united to form the Province of Canada.

The city of Toronto

 Justifiable fears of possible United States expansion were partly stilled by the British North America Act (1867) which made Canada a Dominion of the British Empire. As Great Britain was (in that epoch) the centre of the world’s largest empire, US politicians had to think twice before trying to grab territory. At the same time, the new dominion acquired full responsibility for home affairs, which appeased the independence dissidents. In 1870 lands owned by the Hudson Bay Company were formed into Manitoba, while the Northwest Territories passed from control by the Company to the federal government. Prince Edward Island joined the federation in 1873. British Columbia, which included Vancouver Island, had already done so in 1871.

   The Canadian Pacific Railway, an astonishing piece of engineering, enabled wheat from the prairies to flow eastward. Britain gave Canada title to the Arctic Islands in 1880. Alberta and Saskatchewan joined the Federation in 1905, and Newfoundland joined the dominion in 1949.

Niagara, shared with the United States

 In both World Wars the Canadian armed forces provided maximum assistance to Great Britain, with her disciplined, efficient, brave and resolute soldiers, sailors and airmen. The Normandy Invasion (q.v.) would never have succeeded without Dominion and Colonial troops, many of whom gave their lives to quash imperial and Nazi intentions.

   Things got along and improved steadily and without much fuss, as usual in Canada, and in 1982 Parliament in London established its complete national sovereignty, though it retained allegiance to the British crown and membership of the Commonwealth of Nations.

  There were constitutional disputes in the 1980s and 90s: Newfoundland, Manitoba and Quebec rejected all proposed solutions; indeed Quebec insisted on a ‘distinct society’ status, whatever that might mean. However, a provincial referendum in 1980 rejected independence.

   In 1992 Canada signed the North American Free Trade Agreement. In 1993 the ruling conservatives suffered a humiliating defeat by the Liberals under Jean Chrétien, retaining only two seats in the Chamber. The Bloc Québécois then became the official opposition. In the 1995 referendum voters in Quebec narrowly voted to reject secession from the Union. Chrétien and his party were returned to power in 1997 with a somewhat reduced majority.

   Stephen Harper (Conservative) has been PM since 2006. Canada sent soldiers to Afghanistan in 2001 (they are still there) but refused to join Mr Bush in his Irak adventure in 2003.

Though more people travel regularly by air than ever before; while international airports spring up at vast cost though not required (Spain has recently built two particularly pungent examples of this kind of wastage – the new airports at Ciudad Real and on the island of La Gomera – both airports entertaining virtually no air traffic at all); although air travel is considered probably rightly as the safest form of travel; though London/New York (6000 miles) can be achieved effortlessly (it’s the aircraft I’m talking about, not the passengers) in not much more than 6½  hours . . . why the Devil does air travel have to be so uncomfortable, so inefficient (at the airports), so people-unfriendly, so disgustingly unhygienic, so time-wasting (at the airports), so unpredictable, and above all so DISHONEST?

   You will hear more downright lies over the softspeaker system (it should be ‘loudspeaker’ but it never is) at an airport in the usual two hour wait for a scheduled flight than any couple of hours spent in the House of Commons. Modern airlines never under any circumstances, favourable or otherwise, tell the truth. My wife once travelled on an Iberia flight supposedly Madrid/Tenerife which suddenly landed (only just – the aircraft was an Airbus, and the landing strip is the same size as a piece of Sellotape) in Lanzarote. The irate captain kept the passengers stuck inboard for an hour, then managed to take off again, though it was a near thing. The crew told the passengers the unexpected landing at another Canary Island was to take on some extra crew. Actually, as it was later – much later – revealed, the stop was made to take on extra fuel, not staff. The aircraft had taken off from Madrid without sufficient fuel to get it to Tenerife. Not a word of this reached the passengers, who cheered ironically when Tenerife was finally reached.

Unbelievable today - a cocktail lounge on the Stratocruiser

  Now discomfort: the average aircraft these days is a metal tube in which the airline company squashes the maximum number of passenger seats to make the trip pay for itself. You would not have a chair in your house as desperately incommodious as the average airline seat. If you pay the exorbitant sum demanded for a Business or First Class seat you will be fitted into exactly the same size seat but you’ll get airline cooking free. As if you’d want it.

Boeing Stratocruiser

  Now we come to ‘the good old days’. I do not apologise. I cannot help your frustration. In the 1950s and 60s of the last century there were aeroplanes called ‘Stratocruisers’, ‘Constellations’ and ‘707s’ all of which had armchairs instead of seats. Six-footers could fully stretch out even in Tourist Class. Ladies with generous embonpoint were catered for. When you arrived at the airport to catch one of these airborne masterpieces you reported to a desk where a sweet girl with a clipboard asked your name.

Lockheed Constellation

 When she got it she ticked you off the list. You then swept through to an outside terrace where you could watch airport traffic in comfort. If you were flying to New York from London, Paris or Madrid you stopped innumerable times but eventually you arrived (strangely enough without jetlag) at Idlewild. You had probably eaten airline food eight or nine times during the eleven hours but you did not feel sick. I wonder why not? At no time were you strip-searched, told to take your belt off, ordered to place your watch and money on a plastic tray, told to raise your arms, or treated generally like cattle awaiting slaughter.

Beautiful Boeing 707

   The following are things that should happen:

* Make checking in and luggaging much easier and more rapid. Silly people will ask how but respond with a mention of television, succesful voyages to the moon, the success of the Internet and street cameras etc. If Our Masters can avoid inconvenience with these they should be able to do it with air travel.

*   Force airport microphone staff to tell the truth, not a pack of lies.

How it used to be - seating on a 707

 * Abolish First Class except for ten seats per aircraft. Instead, use normal seats for normal       passengers, but special seats for passengers over six feet tall, pregnant women, any registered sufferer with bad blood circulation, varicose veins etc. with qualified medical practioners’ proof.

* There will always be very rich people. They should be allowed the privilege of travelling First Class but they should never occupy more than ten seats in an aircraft licenced to carry more than 110 passengers. There should be a much, much higher cost for passengers who feel they are First Class.

* Train airline staff not to act as if they are superior. If a stewardess’s daddy is a banker she should refrain from reminding passengers of the fact. And let’s ask the banker why his daughter is an airline stewardess.

* Do not encourage airports to build enormous carparks and then make passengers or their families/friends etc. pay. Build enormous carparks and keep them free.

* Do not create single lanes near or outside the terminal where drivers are allowed to stop for a second or two while they drop off or collect aircraft users. Build proper lanes where collecters other than taxis can legally await their dear ones, who are hardly to blame for the customary  two hour delay in arrival.

* Introduce air travel by seaplane between islands that are close enough to each other to make it profitable and safe. Start with the Spanish islands – the Balearics and the Canaries.

* Most important of all: Stop users of public address systems from repeating lies put out by the airlines. Tell the truth. The public would much prefer to hear the truth. The public does NOT like being lied to.