Guess who said (or wrote) these things?

Give us your answers in the form of a Comment


“I must have a drink of breakfast.”

“Somebody left the cork out of my lunch!”

“She’s all done up like a well-kept grave.”

“I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit.”

“I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.”

A female neighbour rushed out to the new green lawn where our subject was engaged in shooting singing birds with an air rifle. She remonstrated. He replied, “I’ll go on shooting them till they shit green!”

Our subject said he hated all children and small animals. When questioned, he responded: “Anyone who hates small dogs and children can’t be all bad.”

And also: “A woman drove me to drink but I never had the courtesy to thank her.”


You can treat the last two quotations as a clue.

2 thoughts on “Guess who said (or wrote) these things?

    1. Dean Swift Post author

      David Williams thank you for your perspicacity! All these quotes come from W.C Fields. This section has proved so popular we will run another one some day soon. Thank you again. Dean.


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