SPAIN: from black comedy to farce

SPAIN: from black comedy to farce

     Not even the Monty Python team could have invented the present situation in the democracy with a monarchy, Parliament, and civilized population called Spain. The Marx Brothers might have shaken the head and said, “No-one would believe such a script, so fergettaboudit!”

Now the ridiculous slides to the farcical with headlines in the Labour-controlled El País  accusing everybody in the Popular Party governing Spain with a large majority given them by the people, of receiving mysterious packets of black money in cash placed by presumably authorized messengers in Deputies’ cubby holes in the Congress itself. You could not make it up.

First, do the ‘journalists’ at El País really believe their own story? Would a man like Mariano Rajoy, having waited years to become President of the Government, take undeclared cash presents when such a practice is easily discovered and denounced? Would the Popular Party’s mandarins make dislodge their own wise timing just when the Government’s drastic reforms are showing that they work and unemployment is slowly, ever so slowly, reducing? It is a given that all socialist parties, surprised and hurt by a defeat at the polls, follow up in Opposition by using every trick in and out of the book to get themselves back in power. Perfectly acceptable. Normal practice. One prays that the people realise this . . .

But there is a justice system in Spain, even if it creaks suspiciously, is riddled with political influences, has far too few judges and generally leaves actions normally only found in a courthouse, such as prosecution and defence of alleged criminals to the newspapers to play cat and mouse with. One example might be Urdangarín, whom everyone decided was guilty of transgressions when the newspaper columns first reported their suspicions. It is possible that he is indeed guilty of whatever he is accused of (I believe he was a member of an association so crooked it could be safely hidden behind a corkscrew); but no judge has yet pronounced him guilty. Meanwhile the capital of Majorca has asked him to take himself and his title (he is Duke of Palma de Majorca) as far away as possible, and is busying itself with removing the name from public streets. But the case has not yet come to court.

Rubalcaba the self-appointed leader of the Spanish Workers’ Socialist Party, like a saintly, astonished and disapproving lamb, bleats that Mr Rajoy should explain himself in Congress. I am sure he will, but first of all Spain should copy the example of countries like the US, where the owners, editor and writer of what may well prove to be a vicious calumny would be hauled up in front of a judge to explain themselves and present proof the day after publication. Instead, Spain must wait for the statutary six or seven years for a case of libel and slander to be brought against El País, by which time these persons will be dead, retired or fired, and no-one will remember what the fuss is about anyway. Please recall the Faisán Case, and if you can you will be in the minority, though the newspapers and TV News programmes made interminable mention of ‘Faisán’ in every edition at the time; or perhaps we will eventually know about the infamous Eres of Andalucía, in which European aid money was used to make enormous cash presents to buddies of the then President of the region.

Maybe Spain will eventually learn who was behind the Atocha Bomb atrocities. At the moment we know less than nothing, thanks to an investigating committee which questioned the wrong people, and at last came up with summary not even a five-year old would believe. Spain does not yet know the truth about what is called The 23F , while talking about useless farces.

Spain is a monarchy where the people do not like the King, approve of his Queen, and disapprove of the choice as wife of the Heir to the throne. The brother-in-law Urdangarín and his supposed malfeasance is merely a part of a national move towards a Republic. Most Spaniards have forgotten their own ancient and perfectly correct adage – ‘Monarquía – República – Guerra; Monarquía – República – Guerra’.

An integral part of Spain is Cataluña which wishes to secede from Spain like Texas from the US, but become a, independent part of the European Union, which is not practical, feasible or even logical.

The man who damaged Spain even more than the monarch Fernando VII, señor Zapatero, lives like a retired emperor and will have eulogies written about his disasters by hagiographers.

The people responsible for building unused and unnecessary airports across the land during the ‘boom years’ rest happily on their diseased laurels, without a care in the world.

This is a country that could not even have been invented by a genius like Peter Sellers. The only thing left to be done now is for Spain to declare war against Mozambique, and after inevitable defeat can become a black republic with a white servant class.

About the Author:

‘Dean Swift’ is a pen name: the author has been a soldier; he has worked in sales, TV, the making of films, as a teacher of English and history and a journalist. He is married with three grown-up children. They live in Spain.

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