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Humour on Friday: what British public schoolboys think (and say) about each other

    

The public (i.e. private) schools of Great Britain are not so full of toffs these days. Britain’s democracy since the two world wars has led to a caste system that is never mentioned, but still exists. The great, historic, expensive public schools used to be represented at an archaic tribal gathering called ‘The Headmasters’ Conference’. Grave middle-aged gentlemen, some with a paunch, would debate grave issues such as school meals, the uselessness of the Classics , the need for more mathematics, how finance could be raised to build a bigger gym and the terrible cost of school blazers at Gorringes. (more…)

Disasters waiting to happen: General Gordon

  

Gordon meets his end at Khartoum / dailymail.co.uk

Gordon meets his end at Khartoum / dailymail.co.uk

Charles George Gordon was born in 1833. When his father discovered that the boy was wilful, obstinate, brave, selfish and over-fond of himself, he decided to send him to rough schools which would smooth things out a bit. They did not. His qualities seemed to indicate the Army, so to the Army he went.

When the Crimean War started in 1853 Gordon was already a junior field officer, and he distinguished himself at Sebastopol for being brave, wilful, obstinate etc. Later he took part in the second Opium War, and was present at the occupation of Pekin (we must learn to say Beijing) in 1860. As Gordon was annoyed with the ancient Empress of China, who had shown no interest in the murder of European missionaries, and less in the assassination of the German consul, and whose ministers had orchestrated the two opium wars anyway, Gordon decided to burn the Summer Palace to the ground, which he did. This act did not do either Gordon or Britain much good, and was to be remembered by the Chinese. (more…)

Disasters waiting to happen: Nuffield

  

Morris, who became Lord Nuffield / bbc.co.uk

Morris, who became Lord Nuffield / bbc.co.uk

William Richard Morris Nuffield started off well, but ended as the man who almost singlehandedly destroyed the British car industry. I don’t suppose this was his intention, but he did, helped by his opposite number at the Rootes Group.

In the 1950s, Britain had a long line of prosperous carmakers, famous for the typical British design, safety, elegance and comfort. The names of these motor cars filled two columns on a double page spread in Motor Magazine. Now only Morgan, LandRover, Jaguar and Aston-Martin and perhaps Bristol remain British and independent. Rolls-Royce and Bentley are German. The Mini is German. Vauxhall is American, and designed by Opel. Nuffield is solely responsible for the loss of Austin, Morris, Wolseley, Riley, MG & Rover (he started the rot here). Jaguar survived, though it was briefly a Ford. Here is how the disaster happened. (more…)

Humour: tall tales

  

Madame Charles de Gaulle

Paul Johnson tells us that when General de Gaulle at last decided to retire to his small chateau at Colombey-les-deux-Églises, he and his wife threw a small party to celebrate. Several distinguished journalists were invited, among them a few English reporters. During the conversation, an English lady reporter asked the General’s lady what she most looked forward to now that the general and ex-president of France had retired. “A penis,” said Madame. Silence fell around the table. The general leaned forward tutting. “Your pronunciation, cherie,” he said, not without benevolence; “I sink you mean ‘appiness, no?” (more…)

Disasters waiting to happen: Edward VIII

  

 

The Duke of Windsor (ex-Edward VIII) and the woman he loved / onlinepublishingco.info

The Duke of Windsor (ex-Edward VIII) and the woman he loved / onlinepublishingco.info

Edward (born 1894) was the oldest son of George V and Mary of Teck. He should have become King of Great Britain & Northern Ireland, and Emperor of India. He did become Prince of Wales in 1911, and was popular with the people. As a child and youth he maintained a rigid and distant relationship with his parents, who would not allow him to attend an ordinary school, not even Eton or Harrow. He could never have gone toWinchester because he was not intelligent enough. (more…)

Gibraltar in the news again

 

President of the Spanish Government Mariano Rajoy spoke to the United Nations recently. He explained the country’s economic situation, which is disastrous, though no fault of his own, and clarified what his government is doing (or trying to do) to improve the situation. But he also brought up the thorny and contentious subject of Gibraltar. He said that the two governments, British and Spanish and the UNO itself must reach a consensus of opinion about the Rock, and be quick about it. He pulled no punches. It is not his job to pull punches. (more…)

‘Emancipation’ of the Catholics

  

The Christian Church first came into Britain through the north of Ireland and Scotland, probably with St. Augustine. The Roman Catholic Church was soon established throughout Ireland, Scotland and England, ruled inexorably from Rome by the Pope. The Pope’s bishops then ruled both the Church and much more, in association with kings of England when they established themselves. The first king of all England was a Norman Viking called William the Conquerer, and he was a Catholic and a bastard. (more…)

Great War Commanders: General Allenby

Allenby’s chief claim to fame, though he would not have liked my reminding him of it, was that for a time he was Laurence of Arabia’s commanding officer. This was not easy for anyone, and Edward Allenby’s notoriously bad temper was always on a short fuse: as a Field Marshall he was known throughout the ranks as ‘The Bull’ on account of his great size and violent nature. (more…)

Rich in history: the Rothschilds

Nathan Rothschild, who 'organised' the purchase of those Suez Canal shares / texemarrs.com

Nathan Rothschild, who ‘organised’ the purchase of those Suez Canal shares / texemarrs.com

Whole books have been published about this world-famous banking family. Some of the authors have indulged in hagiography, others have been perhaps unconsciously anti-Semitic. The latter view is particularly irritating, as it is the very Jewishness of the Rothschilds that makes their family history so interesting. Here, we can engage in a brief potted biography of the family. For further reading, I consider the best and most intimate biography is by Frederic Morton. It is probably out of print by now, but ransack the libraries for The Rothschilds – a family portrait. (more…)

Marx, Lenin and the ‘lumpenproletariat’

'Lumpenproletariat' to use Karl Marx's term / de.wikipedia.org

‘Lumpenproletariat’ to use Karl Marx’s term / de.wikipedia.org

These days they are the underclass, that vast army of uneducated, unemployable, often criminally inclined, very often obese, more than often drugged people of any age found in any especially well developed country with a democratic government. (more…)

By | 2012-09-11T10:31:11+00:00 September 11th, 2012|British History, English Language, Philosophy, Today|0 Comments
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