Correct behaviour of gentlemen

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Correct behaviour of gentlemen

/ illustration by 'Tea at the Ritz'

/ illustration by ‘Tea at the Ritz’

Four Europeans of different nationality sat down at a tea table with the great lady who was their host. As they sipped the Lapsang or the Earl Grey, according to taste, the lady moved her position in the chair slightly and emitted a positively Chaucerian diffusion of gas: PIU! All conversation halted. Then the Italian gentleman said, “Spirito Santo! Mea culpa! Arrividerci!” and left the table. A few minutes later the hostess moved her rear end again; PIU! The German gentleman wiped his mouth with his napkin and said, “Mein Gott! Das bombf mich ist!” and left the table. It is difficult to believe but only one minute later, in the middle of an apprehensive silence, the lady did it again . . . PIU . . . and the English gentleman muttered, “Oh pardon me! My lunch . . .too much! Ate too plentifully! Thank you and goodbye!” and he went.

The great lady and the Spanish gentleman were left by themselves at table. The Spaniard sipped his tea reflectively; the great lady tucked into her cucumber sandwiches with relish. Then she changed her sitting position leaning over to the left and . . .PIU! The remaining guest got up, said “¡Hago mío el pedo de la señora y me voy!”

By | 2015-02-22T17:34:06+00:00 February 22nd, 2015|Humour|0 Comments

About the Author:

‘Dean Swift’ is a pen name: the author has been a soldier; he has worked in sales, TV, the making of films, as a teacher of English and history and a journalist. He is married with three grown-up children. They live in Spain.

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